Baq's Weblog

I can remember a time when a cloudy day would bring out the light from within me. But now… now the sight of clouds just makes me sick. I don’t know why I feel so bitter this morning, but I bet it has something to do with the all the damn clouds I’m looking at through my window.

It’s true that there was a time, not so long ago, when the sight of clouds would spark a bit of life within me. But those were the days when I lived in a little place called HELL. Hell is just as you’ve always heard it described: hot, hot, hot, and sometimes humid and hot. I lived in the section of Hell called Tucson. Ah yes, Tucson, the unrelenting heat, always there and always hot. It was during this time in my life when the sight of clouds overhead would stretch a smile across my face. These clouds were a godsend, for if I had to live one more second under that hot sun, surely I would die.

But now, now that I live in sunny southern California, I despise clouds. Why must you ruin my day Mr. Cloud? Does it make you happy to see me depressed? Today, a cloud in the sky is a dagger in my heart. It’s salt in my wound and spit in my face all at the same time. No longer do clouds save me from near-death heat, now they are responsible for depriving me of enjoying the beautiful So Cal sun. I hate you Mr. Cloud. Go away, and please don’t come another day.

Posted by Baq at 8:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Have you ever planned a kayaking trip, only to find out that the beach you had planned on launching your kayak from (a 4.5 hour drive from your home) was exactly 0.60 miles from a fatal shark attack that occurred only 3 days prior to your trip?

Yeah. Me too.

So now I have a decision to make. I know that shark attacks are rare. In fact, in the past 50 years there have only been 9 off the coast of California (Were there a lot more before then? I don’t know, but my guess is there were). But do I want to be the jackhole that foolishly hops in the water, only to find out that shark attacks occur in 50-year cycles? Of course not. And would I wear a seal costume like the victim was wearing this past week? Don’t be silly.

So here’s the deal: I’m going kayaking this weekend. If this is my last BLOG, and you never hear from me again, it’s probably because I hit it big with a Scratchers lottery ticket at one of the gas stops up to S.L.O., and along with a big check I cashed in my old friends…
OR…
… I had a real close encounter with a really big fish and was scared straight into one of those communes up in hippie country (S.L.O.)

Posted by Baq at 12:12 PM | Permalink

Last weekend I was motivated. My motivations come in spurts. Sometimes I’ll go dry for a while. No motivation. Then all of a sudden, CLICK, motivation.

What I don’t get is why my motivating spurts usually seem to occur in the oddest of places. For example, last weekend I was mindlessly perusing the isles of Fry’s Electronics, looking for a much needed replacement hard drive, when I stumbled upon a bright blue box with a really cool 3-D shiny cover. The box touted its ability to teach any idiot Spanish; just the way a child would learn his or her first language.

CLICK.

Geez, I thought to myself, I’ve wanted to learn Spanish for years. And here it is, the answer I’ve been looking for. Let me see here (as I pick up the shiny box), how do I know if this thing is worth a darn? Oh, lookie here, it says it’s the official software used by the Peace Corps. Eh, not impressed (those hippies are born with 3 languages already programmed in their brains). But wait, what’s this? NASA uses this software so the astronauts can communicate with the Russians. Astronauts? Bitchin’.

As I handed over my debit card at the checkout stand (1 new hard drive + 1 Spanish in a Box + 1 Almond Joy), I can still remember telling myself that if the box recommends 5 hours of studying a week, I’ll do 7, and learn that much faster. Walking back to my car I noticed how blue the sky was, and how fresh the air smelled. What a good day. CLICK.

Posted by Baq at 12:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Here I sit, it’s 8:56 PM and I’ve just come from Dini’s (my local watering hole and eatery). Ahh yes, the sweet, sweet bliss of fish tacos and Bud Light draft. I think I’ll pour myself a gin and tonic now.

Today was interesting. However, it wasn’t interesting because something of interest happened. Amazing isn’t it?... a day without interest? Ha! Well, believe it.

So, what made today interesting? Well, I’m glad you asked. I think today became interesting just a few minutes ago. Yeah, welcome to the party! The interesting part happened as I sat down to reflect upon my day (I often partake in this pastime as it really, really, helps with my self-gratification). As I sit here… (and reflect)…I am reminded of all the people I encountered today. Without getting too detailed I’ll let you in on where I met these fine folks: 1) a shit plant 2) a bar.

Today I met some of the weirdest people the Greatest City (or whatever it is they call this place) has to offer. Let’s see now, there was Pimpin’ Donald. Donald reminded me of a guy you’d meet in Vegas, running the show. Or the guy you’d find with the only horse in a one-horse town. But instead poor Donald had none of that glory, instead he was at a shit plant, dirty, smelly, and wearing a straw hat instead of a white felt hat.

Then there was Twiddle Dee & Twiddle Dumb. These guys couldn’t get enough of themselves, and trust me, at 6’6”, 300+# there was a lot to get. I think I heard them snort after telling a you-wouldn’t-get-it joke.

And of course I couldn’t forget the two guys who looked like they just stepped out of a Nerds movie (don’t ask me which nerds… I didn’t pay that close of attention to the movie). But believe me; these guys could have built you an alarm clock out of rubber bands and wax.

Oh, don’t let me forget about the guy who sat down next to me at Dini’s. Just as I was served my beloved fish tacos (go easy on the white sauce, extra onions and guacamole please) this joker sat in the seat across from me and began to sing hysterically. With no shame for those trying to unwind from a hectic day with their one true love… Mr. Fish Taco, this asshole began to clap and sing aloud. Oh, for the love of hey-sus!

Posted by Baq at 8:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Ok, so can we talk about something other than the color Brown?

I’d like to thank theoliverproject for making this page happen. There’s no telling where I’d be without the tender touch and know-how of theoliverproject. Now, if he'd teach me a thing or two about how to manage this page, it wouldn't be so, so... brown?

Posted by Baq at 10:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)